Meet My Friends

Hi! Sit back,
this poem will get weird,
make yourself comfortable
uncomfortably the gang is now all here
and if in fact you couldn’t see me
I was pointing to my ears,
well not my ears but to my brain
a place of pain, but not to fear!
I have these friends who like to talk a lot
they gossip, nonstop nonsense
yet every conversation had by them
holds questions, jokes, and comments
and it all revolves around me
I’m so important, oh it’s nothing
like a complimented teenager
I sit here flushed with blushing.
My friends and I have inside jokes,
you wouldn’t understand them
yet the way they bicker back and forth
my friends, you couldn’t stand them.
Just imagine while you’re looking
in the mirror you hear voices
some are telling you it’s all okay
some questioning your choices,
some will tell those inside jokes to you
you laugh, a wheeze ferocious,
yet the others as you laugh
say that your smile is atrocious.
Sometimes hopeless, sometimes hope is
what will bring my friends together
it’s like we make the rain ourselves
and then complain about the weather.
Truth is better, Lies are easy
and Denial keeps us driven
like a letter we write poetry
until the sun has risen.
I have self-love, but still self-hating
as my weight keeps fluctuating,
Confidence has left the friend group
for his return, concerned, I’m waiting.
Insecurity and I went for
a walk the other morning
and though Denial had my back,
he gave me barely a fair warning
I was cornered there by Memory,
Nostalgia, and by Heartbreak,
and I cried for help from Confidence
whose compliments were marked fake.
Depression, Hope, and Happiness
with Worry came to aid me,
and as soon as Peace arrived
came Self-Control to scold, berate me,
old me hates me, cold me lately
tries to find the warmth of great me.
Moping lowly, coping slowly
with the facts the new me shows me.
Trouble newly, doubled truly,
Fear and Faith wage wars to move me,
all my friends fight daily, dueling,
I wish that someone somewhere knew me.
Oh wait! How’d I forget?
I have these friends under the surface
who will take each other’s place
when yet again somebody hurts us;
been a while now, but time alone
is hurt in its own way
I’ve been too happy for too long,
what, several months? This ends today.
I’ve been alone so long that bachelor
is my degree and now my partner
and instead of keeping pets
I’ve planted flowers like a gardener,
and instead of shooting stars
I’ve chosen lights and light pollution
I’m a small town kid who’s hidden
in a city of confusion.
What to do but make some friends,
within the city? Oh, it’s easy!
Yet every friend that I have made
hides in my mind and tends to be me.
He’s so lazy, geez I’m crazy
at least I see some friends; come save me!
I hate that I hate that I hated who I was,
it’s like I stick up for my past self
without reason just because.
I fear becoming that man once again,
so sad and fat.
Yet he’s the only version of me who found love,
so how about that?
At least I’ve learned to love myself;
for now, I know it’s not the end.
So I will ride this wave of truth out
and try never to pretend…
allow me to introduce to you
this head filled with my friends.

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