Sewing Kit

There’s a sadness hovering over me
like the shadows hung from a rosary
I feel like I’m back in the interlude;
I’d be glad to be thrown right back in with you.
I was happy for once, but that’s over now.
I was happy for months, but I don’t know how.
You were mocking and waving within my dreams;
I am trapped in the past, this won’t end it seems.
Who will I become in a different place?
And how often will I still see your face?
They say time heals all wounds, I could laugh aloud;
I’ll still suffer this cut when I’m past the clouds.
Three years and some change is a lengthy stay
within these four walls where the memories play.
Forget her, move on, just get over it;
you think I don’t already know this shit?
Go ahead, go and bring me my sewing kit;
take my cuts, sew them up, I won’t notice it.
The memories, too many, will tear the threads
the nightmares I have, I can’t bear the dread.
Just last night, not a joke, I was on the run
my best friend by my side, we were having fun;
suddenly in your house as though if by chance.
You walked by, gave no “Hi”, just a backwards glance.
That was all that it took, so I grabbed my friend,
and we ran through some sand to whatever end.
You called from a window as we ran away,
I found no courage to look, much less words to say.
I awoke breathing heavily, terrified;
even in my own dreams I can barely hide.
I envy people who live for the present
or even the future, I’m merely a peasant
who once in his life took the hand of the queen
and he never let go in the realm of his dreams.

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