Me and a Trillion Grains of Salt

It’s all looking up from here
with a beacon of promise singing rays of sun from above
it would take a free-falling anchor of steel, rust, and anger to
take me away from the light or to bring me down.
Here in the densest fullness of the setting sun with
images of only me in my mind, who I am and who soon I will be
the better man of my dreams.
I smile freely.
The sun says, “I love you” and I say,
“You know what, I love me too.”
I don’t need ‘her’, I don’t need ‘she’,
not A, not B nor C or D; only me.
Only sunlight. Only whitecaps constantly rolling towards me
as a meadow in the breeze of blues in color and not
blues of emotion that I left behind me with green fields of envy.
This is who I have always needed to be, just me,
not me needing she or trying hard to be free.
Now I am me. Now I am golden sunny rays and I am whitecaps
and I am the love of my present healed from scars of my past.
It’s all looking up from here, from this dune on which I sit
looking down at the beach, the life, and the faith
of a trillion grains of salt.
Wings that I have grown let me fly.
I take each thought of regret, each nostalgic memory,
each pound of doubt that weighs me down and
attach them to stones that I skip across the remnants of low-tide,
lost, gone forever in the ocean vast
that heals all wounds and mends all hearts.
I am not the memories of the ones who have hurt me,
I am only me, the person I have ever longed to be.


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