Take Me Home

I can remember the way that you smelled,
this nose of nostalgia won’t let me forget.
Almost every word that you carefully spoke
came out like poetry, for better or worse.
Four years since I sulked in your poetry
instead writing my own as a means of survival,
which sounds so dramatic I’ll gladly admit;
only the friends in my head understand.
The voices inside are the ones I converse with
for all conversations outside are not real,
some voices are me in dimensions of time,
which sounds so crazy I’ll gladly admit;
only your voice in my head understands.
Lord, if you take me (don’t take me) come take me
and if you come take me at least take me home.

I just wasn’t meant for this world in earnest,
and honestly what were you thinking with me?
I live in the past while forsaking the future,
I don’t deserve the present you’ve gifted to me.
Each sentence is starting with “I”, narcissistic,
optimistic if you think that I love me that much.
Well I do, but I don’t, it’s all confusing you know;
do you love you or hate you or simply accept you?
I hope that you love you, as hard as that is,
it’s the only way out of the darkness I’ve found.
So, as I fall backwards and look for the light
finding smells of nostalgia, for better or worse,
I seek my reflection to tell him the truth.
Lord, if you take me (don’t take me) come take me
and if you come take me at least take me home.

I feel the weight of indifference quite fully,
for loving and hatred are one and are easy.
I challenge myself to accept life completely,
but to live in the present is a gift and a curse.
I’m afraid of forgetting the past and her secrets,
and I fear I will never acquaint with the future.
Birds against the wind, waves against the shore,
and a phoenix rising from its own ashes, alas
giving up is not an option, the truth to my dismay.
Henna stains the skin, but not the soul;
love will have to win to make me whole.
Past my expiration date, I live one day at a time
just hoping I write the right things down one day.
Lord, if you take me (don’t take me) come take me
and if you come take me at least take me home.